Lorraine Olivia Matthews

If they hit you (don’t do right by you), you leave.

(excerpt from an interview with Ilea Dene Matthews, Actress/Screenwriter and Proud Dog Mom)
California, USA

My mom, in this present moment, is living her best life and she definitely earned it. She came from the Philippines. She was born there. Sadly, her mother left her at age 5 with her great aunt. She didn't have the greatest life there. At age 18, she managed to come to America, and she made it a goal to get a degree, worked at Intel, climbed her way up the ladder, and then created this amazing life for herself. She wanted to have money, she wanted to have a family, she wanted to have a career. And she did all that.

And along the way, she was always sewing or crafting. Until now, in her house she built an entire studio devoted to crafting or sewing. And she has women come over on Tuesdays and they have a sewing group. It's a massive room. It’s really impressive to think that an immigrant from the Philippines who was abandoned could make something so amazing out of her life. And now she's in Italy traveling for three weeks because it's on her bucket list. She’s pretty incredible.

When I was younger, Mom occurred to me as someone controlling because she was very protective. So I left home at 18 to exercise my freedom and do whatever I want. I didn't necessarily understand my mother then. But now as an adult, I appreciate who she is and everything that she did, and what she stands for. It was also around ten years ago when I discovered my passion for sewing. We sort of really bonded since then, and I started making the dog clothes and it really, really brought us together.

I definitely got my creativity, perseverance, and tenacity from my mom. I am clear that I always finish something I start. It may have some delays but I follow through and finish just like I did completing my College degree and this amazing Pilot film I wrote, produced and filmed. My creativity in terms of sewing, crafting, crocheting, and the love of artistry and making things - definitely all of that comes from my mother.

My mom's funny because the biggest advice she has given me has been “if they hit you, you leave”. That's been her constant reminder and I believe that applies to any relationship. They may not be literally physically hitting me but that is a helpful reminder to stay away from or leave those who won’t do right by me. That could be friends, lover/partner, and even business prospects/collaborators. For example, there was a gentleman who was interested in my dog clothes and he wanted the patterns for them. He offered to pay me a certain amount for patterns, then he would outsource production. And my mom’s advise really helped me to walk away from that. It was a good deal for him but not a good deal for me in the long run.

My mom raised and taught me the best way she could, provided me with a lot of opportunities to see the world - which by the way was a type of education I can't get at school. I was a world traveler by age 15, I had seen so much of the world, and seen cultures and to this day, I continue to travel. Mom and I go to Cancun every year to reset and I join her sewing retreats with her and her friends in Auburn at a nunnery.

Mom and I just get along really well. I enjoy spending time with her and it’s her company I miss the most. It's not just a mother daughter relationship. If my mom wasn't my mom, I’d want her to be that friend I'd call and want to hang out with all the time. I’m very happy when people say I’m a carbon copy of my mom. I'm 100% proud to be just like my mom. We even walk the same!