Ivelisse Santiago-Stommes, PhD
“As long as you believe in what you're doing, as long as you're enjoying the journey, and as long as you're following your dreams, it will all work out.”
(Excerpt from an interview Dr. Cynthia Rivera, Program Director, Internal Medicine Residency at Mount Sinai Medical Center, Business Owner, Wife & Mother of 2 daughters)
Florida, USA
My mother is a person who guides with love. Growing up, she never tried to solve problems for us. What she did instead was engage us in a conversation to help us discover our own answers. She was that way with me and my two younger siblings. Mom helped each of us discover what we needed to make critical decisions, solve our own problems or issues.
I have a brother and a sister. We're all four years apart and we have very different likes and dislikes. And while we are close to each other, our lives are so different. I'm a physician and business owner, married with two children. My brother is a teacher and a musician who has been very clear that being married and having children is not his thing, and he likes to travel. My sister loves being married and has five children. She's a stay-at-home mother with tons of creative interests. All three of us are happy in our own chosen paths. My mom’s guidance in our conversations always led us to find what makes us happy. There was no “should be” in our conversations.
My mother knows who I am and pours so much belief in me. She completely trusts that I’m capable of making decisions for myself, even when I don’t trust myself. She demonstrated this when I decided to go to medical school. I switched career plans from nursing school to medical school. That was also present in my conversations with her about my marriage and about having children. Earlier on, I was unsure about having children and I shared this with her. In a non-judgmental way of responding, she shared how enriching it has been for her to be a mother and she also pointed out that being a mother isn’t necessary to have fulfillment in life. She encouraged me to really look at whether I could see myself as a mother and to have a conversation about this with my spouse. Fast forward, I happily now have an 8 year old and a 6 year old. I really credit my mother for believing in my capability to make decisions and never judging me.
Not too long ago, I noticed there was a shift in my interest and passion at work. I didn’t love infectious disease like I used to, and I was more interested and excited about connecting with other doctors and teaching mindfulness. This is a big shift for me. When I shared with my mother that I'm deviating from a lot of clinical practice and looking forward to being a public speaker about mindfulness, all she said was “Great! Are you happy?” And as I share, she listened intently to discover what about it makes me happy and I saw her get even more excited about it.
That is my mother. She is and will always be my biggest cheerleader.
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Cynthia I. Rivera, M.D., F.A.C.P.